Post surgery - thoughts and...thoughts

Ok...no post in a long time, so...I will now post...

March 7 came and went. If anything, I was anxious. Obviously, I wanted to get it over with. I was also very cynical, and very pessimistic. After 18+ plus months of various therapy, costing well into $1000, you can see reason for my cautious optimism.

So after going through March 7, I can only say one thing: Being AWAKE in an OR (only local anethesia, they only numbed the area they were operating on) is by far the most WEIRDEST and UNCOMFORTABLE feeling ever. Now, I couldn't see anything they were doing because I had a sheet over me, for sterility purposes. But for 13 minutes, I felt in a perpetual limbo, with my left hand tourniquetted and being worked upon. I felt a little faint from the numbing medicine, and they gave me oxygen. While it was happening, though, I couldn't help but feel really lucid. I started talking about...music, drums, how important they were to me...basically, if the nurse that was monitoring me asked me bank account passwords or pin numbers, I would told her them at that point.

So...almost a month later, and how do I feel? GREAT. It feels as if I never had numb fingers, and the scar looks right now like a bad scratch. My issue is, I am still in this 6 week window, where it feels like anything can happen and I shouldn't use it too much. For a while my hand would get tired, but now I don't know if I should kick it up a gear to where I am using it %100 as I did before.

So right now, because of the window, I am only playing once, maybe twice a week, usually rehearsals, and I let them know that if my left hand needs a break it's going to take it. I am basically playing as I was when I had CT. Just now, my fingers don't go numb.

So I guess patience is in order here. Patience and April 25, when I'll be in the clear, as far as the 6 weeks is concerned. After that, I plan to play every day, just like I did when I started. It's like part II. Now, I have no excuses. It WILL be only a matter of time, that I acheive in some way, what my mission statement says.

Now, I only hope my right hand keeps up and doesn't go my left hands route. Not for some time, anyway...